It's All Diane's Fault

[jmward14]

Diane Whiteside's, that is.  I'm back in Rewrite Hell.  Oh well, anything for a better book.  (She says through gritted teeth.  LOL)  I wrote about the issue for my bimonthly blog at Fantasy & Enchantment.  Check it out if you want to see the source of my woe.  You know, at times like these, I really wish I could figure out how to make the books write themselves.
Hugs and grins,
Jean Marie
*the blogging delinquent*

Comments

[sandyinstep.livejournal.com]

Ah, you need Yehudi. (Thank you Mr. Brown.)

[hutch0.livejournal.com]

I'm still working through Highway (*hangs head in shame*) but I've never had a moment's doubt about the POV. It's DC's all the way, the POV of Wives all through history, from Penelope to Cherie Blair. I know I'm risking a lightning bolt, but I disagree with Teri; Orpheus isn't pond scum - he's an innocent, a big kid who's never had to face up to big issues. I can see why Teri would have no patience with that kind of character, but that's why DC loves him, for that exuberant unhurt innocence. He's a big baby, sure, but he's an extraordinary big baby, and it's not just the stuff about getting into clubs or getting the best table in a restaurant.
Orpheus is not a jerk; he's an innocent, someone who the world has not hurt so far. Life just gives him stuff and he accepts this as nothing more than his due - be it babes or someone letting him into the VIP area of the best clubs. It's just normal. And DC loves the innocence in him, the wide-eyed expectation that the world will be good to him. I don't think she was stupid getting involved with him; she got involved with the part of him that takes an innocent joy in everything life can provide him.
Just to labour a point, years ago I was on a coach from Nottingham (where I was at University) to Sheffield (which was my home) one evening and there was a young woman a couple of seats in front of me with a little boy, and at one point during the journey she gave the little boy a biscuit, and the little boy turned around and knelt on his seat and looked at me and ate the biscuit with a degree of uncomplicated joy I''ve never seen before or since. He thought that biscuit was the best thing he'd ever eaten, and he wanted me to know it. And that's Orpheus. And DC loves him for that simple, uncomplicated joy, because it's so rare these days.
It's working fine for me so far. And it definitely is DC's story. I'm sort of half in love with her.

[jmward14.livejournal.com]

{{{{{hutch0}}}}}
And here I am rewriting again. Oh well, with any luck DeeCee will still be the same girl you're falling in love with when I'm done.
I love her too. I confess, I'm one of those sappy writers who loves all their characters. Couldn't bear to be around them for as long as it takes me to write otherwise.
You've nailed the Peter Pan aspect of Orpheus. It's a big part of what makes him so compelling to Eurydice. The problem is she doesn't just have to deal with Peter Pan. She's got the Lost Boys and their entourage, the paparazzi, the groupies... Sometimes all she has is the stuff to remind her that she'll have Orpheus again when he gets home from touring. Sort of.
Plus, Orpheus isn't a blank slate. He's needy and smart. Not necessarily smart in the same very prosaic ways Eurydice is smart, but he knows how to get what he wants. And he wants a lot.
The problem is a fair share of readers don't seem to comprehend the joy he brings, the enormity of his gifts or the complexity that fuel them. That's where I failed with that draft.
Would you like to see the tweaked first chapter? I'm wrestling with the second chapter now. I think it's the section that needs the most work. I hope. LOL
Hugs and thanks,
Jean Marie

[hutch0.livejournal.com]

Absolutely send me the tweaked first chapter. I'm enjoying the book, but I'm having trouble finding more than a few minutes a day to sit down with it right now. BTW, did you just want an opinion, or do you want the full copy-edit service?
Big Hugs.

[jmward14.livejournal.com]

{{{{hutch0}}}} The doc will follow via your bt account. Just looking for your thoughts, especially on the areas where the characterization storytelling falters. This book is <>so not ready for copy edits. LOL
Hugs and big, big thanks,
Jean Marie